Attack of the Killer Rockies!

Morris: We survived Halloween just fine, but NOW ... it sounds like raccoons (or "rockies" as our very silly Mom calls them) have invaded the attic again. We had them last winter, and they really messed up our A/C ducts. Which was terrible this summer, till we got them fixed again. Last winter, Mom bought some "large critter repellent" (allegedly essence de fox urine) online and popped that up in the attic, and it was all nice and quiet and peaceful (except for Uncle E, of course) again. So this time, she went to Home Depot and bought some stuff that's really pepper-y and put it in the attic again. It was noisy for a bit this afternoon, but now it's quiet again. Thing is, she fixed the way the rockies got in this summer ... and we don't know HOW they got in again. Keep your fingers crossed that she can figure it out and fix it this time too! We know that sometimes rockies come up for the cat food Mom leaves out for Miss D and Smokey (Mom: a pair of feral cats I feed), and when they do, she quits leaving any food out at night. But the darn things got in again!!! Mom, quit putting food in the attic! (Mom: Morris! I'm not THAT silly!) Or ... Mom, could it be GHOSTS up there????? 

Guess we should introduce ourselves...

Morris: To be polite and all, y'know. Yes, we are six of the Greatest Cats on Earth. We'll all take turns here (but I rule, so I speak first. And Most.). I won't bore you with details of The Others; they can use their own time to do that! But me ... why, yes, of course, you want to meet Me. 

I am a very handsome orange tabby Mancat. I should be the Only Cat (after me, who else do you need??), but Mom says that ain't happening. Me, I don't understand that. I mean, OK, I love the ladies ... but other boys? Puhleeeze. I should be all that any lady needs! (Mom: So I'm a lady now? When did that happen?) Something happened to my front claws before I came to Mom's house, so as much as I adore the outdoors, I don't get to go. I've still got my bad 'tude, though -- claws or no. And if you really p*** me off, I'll even bark at you! Yes! Bilingual, baby! (Mom: He's not lying. His low, low growl will end with a "woof" when he's REALLY annoyed!) Last year, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I get two shots of insulin a day that I'm not crazy about, but I also get really good treats to go with them. And Mom won't do my blood glucose checks; she drags me off to the vet to get those done. (Mom: No claws doesn't mean he can't fight -- and draw blood!) Otherwise, I'm pretty healthy and as happy as a True Only Cat can be living with other ... creatures!  

Oh, those other creatures? There are the lovely ladies Mama T and Shadow. Then some rather useless boys: Uncle E, Tio Tyger and Teke.  I'll give them a chance to speak. Can't do the superior dance if I'm not truly superior, y'know!